Here I am in the land of my ancestors ancestors (maybe)
A LOT has been happening since I last posted, lets get started.......
Last I wrote, we were heading to the Moroccan border, with plans to get there by ferry to Ceuta. Now I didn't mind smuggling in Ping and Pong to Europe, but I didn't feel too comfortable smuggling them into Morocco. If caught, I really didn't want to do any bird in a Moroccan jail. Let's face it, a pretty boy like me wouldn't last five minutes behind bars. So we gave Ping and Pong their freedom in South Spain. More on Ping and Pong soon.
So having said our sad farewells (sniff*) it was off to the boat and Ceuta - a Spanish city on Morrocan soil, how weird is that? We got through Moroccan customs fairly easily and it was onto our first stop Tetouan.
The first place we had booked turned out to be a right dump. Boy were we stung by some wide-boy trying to convince us the apartment was some four star luxury place. Sure if you happened to be a cockroach, but not for real human beings. I really wanted to Amber Heard the bed, but Anna, bless, convinced me not to do anything, as we are the better people apparently.
Next stop Chefchouan (or as I like to call it, Smurf city) where everything is blue, I kid you not. I reckon some geezer had a ton of blue paint and flogged it cheap to the good citizens of Chefchouan. It does look good though and I can deffo recommend Puerta Azul. For the non-linguistic that means The Blue Hotel. Yup, that was painted blue as well. Also if you are a souvenir hunter after tat to take home, there’s none to be found anywhere in Chefchouan. Ok, I may be lying.
One thing to watch out for is the cats. There are millions of cats, literally cats everywhere. If you hate cats, prob best if you avoid Morocco! Didn't bother me as cats seem to be attracted to me like flies to shite. Luckily I don't mind the odd moggie.
After Chef it was onto Fes, a massive city with loads of police and military everywhere, and some pretty decent ruins. After a couple of days in the city, my mission was accomplished - I found a Fez hat thanks to the Cinema Cafe which had several hanging on a wall. Made my week!
Fez was OK, more even more medinas and absolutely no souvenirs of course. I went for a walk on my own and got accosted by a lovely fella called Abdul. He wanted me to have a look at his store, apparently he had 15 kids to feed. He promised me I didn’t have to buy anything, but somehow he managed to sneak a kaftan over my head. He was very polite telling me he I didn’t have to buy it, but had I seen myself in the mirror because I looked GREAT in it and he had 12 kids to feed and at 300 Euros he was cutting his own throat.
I wasn’t buying his patter or kaftan, so shook his hand and made a fast getaway.
After Fes we made our way south via a hotel made out of recycled bits and pieces. Which was actually pretty sweet, and on the way I saw my very first live camel. A camel and a Fez hat, my list is complete.
And so it onto our next stop Marrakesh, surely I can buy some cheap tat for my mates back home.
After a couple of days in Marrakesh, Anna got ill from both ends after a dodgy sandwich at a local cafe and was in bed for a couple of days. We agreed never to mention it ever. Ever!
I had a chuckle down at the local shopping centre, where there was an assault course, (think Go Ape) strung 15-20M above the ground, with no safety net below. I never saw anyone use it, but I was really hoping to see someone brave it.
And just when Anna started to feel better, who should turn up in Marrakesh, but my old landlady Jo and her son Curtis. I did think they were chasing me and Anna for unpaid rent, but it turns out that Anna actually invited them. It was great to see them.
We went to the waterfall at Ouzoud. Very impressive, and on the way down saw a load of wild barbary monkeys. I think they should be trained to carry food and drink, but that might get us one step closer to the “Planet of the Apes” situation. One thing that really was impressive was a single rope chain separating tourists from the edge of the 110m cliff to certain doom. Health and safety, don't make me laff.
The walk down and up was pretty tough, but worth it. I didn’t know this at the time, but it looks like you can camp there. Shame me and Anna forgot the tent - could have made for a nice couple of days.
We also drove over the Atlas mountains to see where Game of thrones filmed scenes for Yunkai. It was pretty cool. but we all forgot to bring money so we couldn't get food and drink and we couldn't pay a guide to take us round, so the trip was not as good as it could have been.
Next stop, the Sahara desert.
Choukran, Bsslama. (as they say over here)
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